TLDR: I’m just another dirt-bag trudging through this world with a burrowed brow.
Simply put, I’m a heavily blessed and slightly miserable individual who continually meditates on my passions, talents and shortcomings. Trivial circumstances have molded me into a cynical, naive and loving man; previously dwelling in the filth of self-pity, I rose from hell and claimed my fucking crown. I am an infrequent poet, an aspiring IT specialist and a SrA in the USAF (the later of which I regret horribly).
I am a 23 year old biracial male currently living in South Korea in the beginning of my short tour here in Osan AB. In my now 4 years of AD service in the USAF, I have come to the crippling conclusion that I am not fit for military service. It is rather humorous, me coming to this realization after already signing my life away to my country, but it is the sheer and unadulterated truth of my current circumstances. My level of intellect is on par with the requirements set forth by the AF, but a body that is not conditioned to the minimum standards; I ingest copious amounts of food to vent out and ease my emotional burden to the point where I can hardly recognize myself in the mirror. It pains me to say, but I am still left speechless at the fact that my girlfriend can find anything worthwhile in me… As it is, I do not feel worthy or capable enough to continue through with my activation term and plan to transition into the Air Force Reserves at the end of my short tour in Korea.
My hope is to be taken under the wings of a computer repair shop after I remove myself from the life I’ve known for a few years. I am working on getting my fundamental certifications before that time, but all I have in terms of working experience is my work with system building and small-time repairs. I’m fairly well versed in hardware literacy and a smaller grasp on software troubleshooting and OS navigation. If this will suffice for an entry-level job, this will not be enough to support myself after my military career will take a back seat. This plan will heavily rely on my connection to a support system I hope to have with my girlfriend who plans to stay active duty. I hate to use her as a crutch for the start of my IT career…
I have been with my girlfriend for the better part of 2 years now, and I must say… Love can certainly catch you unprepared for the blessings that will follow suit. Her support and silly demeanor brings me from the cusp of utter rage, to a place where I can breathe and feel at peace. Her touch means comfort, and her words and wisdom are my strength. I am certain that she will be a good wife to me, and I a suitable husband for her. We share similar taste in MMORPGs and a passion for technology; I’m assuming we both enjoy the escapism that media consumption brings amidst our anguish and struggles, but I digress. We met in technical training school in Ft. Lee, WV in 2015 and actually went to Ramstein AB, DE together. Reconnecting with her with movie dates in my room and smoking together was exactly what I needed. Long story short, I enlisted to better provide for my ex-fiance, and she abandoned me at the end of my initial training phase. As luck or miracles would have it, my beloved arrived at my darkest hour, and I couldn’t be any more thankful for her.
In short, I’ve been jostled around a fair bit, but can still say that I am blessed beyond belief. I am broken still, but both time and love has blurred my wounds a good bit. This point of my young life is a sort of a turning point; I will start from the bottom of the barrel in terms of my career path, but I now have a beautiful love and the college tuition I have earned from my military service. The next few years will be quite interesting to be sure.