With a stick as a wand,

I fought giants and trolls,

Too many to recount or recall.

My backyard is huge,

With foliage as cover,

In this realm, I rule over all.

*

Perhaps a wood carbine,

Now that would cause damage

I abandoned the wand for my gun.

Loaded in charges and took careful aim,

I sprayed rounds all around without making a sound.

Perhaps a broadsword,

This will even the odds

The ogre out front is enraged.

I picked up the sword and swung it real hard,

Taking his head to then earn my wage.

*

My mother came out to call it a night,

The battles, they all seemed so real.

Bashing on trees and bushels out here

Was more exciting than my well-deserved meal.